Do you ever have those moments? You know the ones that can last just a few minutes, or a few hours, or a few days, maybe even a few weeks, or possibly years where you sort of forget who you are. For me, I recently experienced that feeling, it lasted a short while a few days where things just seemd out of sorts, confused.
I know a lot of it was just timing. Where I'm at mentally & emotionally, the weather being so cold recently, the unknowing and uncertainty of so many things, it just got to me. I had a moment where everything got to me, deep into me and I felt it. I had to pull myself out of it. I called on my mother, my friends and my husband to listen and help me process.
Yesterday I realized that I felt afloat and was needing grounding. The sun was shining today and I figured that there wasn't a better way to get grounding than to play in the dirt.
The house we are renting has a small garden area with pre-existing beds simply in need of a little TLC. Even though the future is not set Ian and I gathered some tools and went out to weed and prepare the bed that is already fitted with hoops for a plastic covering.
We took turns raking and forking and pulling weeds. We saw earthworms, and centipedes, and found sea shells and snail shells. We built up the brush pile and Tonka truck bulldozer even made a special visit towards the end of the work project.
After we finished working, and my fingernails were caked with rich soil and the freshly turned earth smell invaded my olfactory I felt alive. I remembered deep inside who I am. Who I want my boy to remember me as. That I often smell of cinnamon, jasmine, and spanish amber. That I love and miss working the land and growing food and harvesting and preparing. I love the sunrise and sunset and the colors as they splash across the sky. I smile everyday as I lay awake in bed and hear songbirds outside my window.
Last week we had a winter snow here in GA. It was the first time in a while I had seen a good snow, and by good I don't mean as good as 10 years ago in Madison County, NC, but still 4 inches can certainly be a lot of fun. I realized that I didn't have any recent pictures of me and my honey and so I made him stop mid snowman build and take one with me. Here we are flashing winter smiles at the camera
Four inches of snow is also the most snow our little guy has ever seen in one place in his young life. Talk about excited. He was totally beside himself with joy. "Mom, it's so amazing isn't it? Look at the way it's falling." He loved it so much and we made a real effort to get out into the snow as a family and enjoy it to its fullest.
So, I have been working on a chocolate cake recipe for a number of years now. I think that I have finally come up with an extra chocolatey, really moist, delicious winner. So here it is for you to try out at home if you wish. It also makes an excellent cupcake.
For those of you wondering, this is the same recipe I used to make Dr. Rhoades cake.
Vegan Chocolate Cake 2c unbleached all purpose flour 1 & 3/4tsp baking powder 1tsp baking soda 1c cocoa powder
1c vanilla soymilk (i prefer edenblend) 5T canola oil 1 & 1/2c grade B maple syrup 1 & 1/2tsp apple cider vinegar 3T vanilla extract 1/2tsp sea salt
Preheat oven to 350. Lightly oil a 9inch springform pan, sqaure baking pan, or cupcake pan.
In a large bowl combine the dry ingredients excluding the salt and using a whisk stir gently.
In a seperate bowl whisk all of the wet ingredients and the salt until well blended.
Pour wet into dry and whisk until the liquid is absorbed.
Pour batter into pan and bake 20-25 minutes until the cake pulls away from the edges and it is done in the center. You can use a toothpick to check the center.
Allow to cool, remove from pan and frost with your favorite icing.
I'm still working on a vegan "buttercream" but that will be a while.